how insignificant am i?

The earth is round. The earth is big. Life is as big as infinity. The earth and life, both combined and led by humans, played by God. They are so big that the humans, who live inside it can be so insignificant that the other humans don't even realize his or her existence.

Someone can be famous. He can be known by the other human beings who reside in this so called life but the question is, how? By working his ass off? By proving to the world that he's a bad ass? Pick your vote. Which one.

Well, as for me, I'm a no body. I have never tried to prove to anyone that I can be somebody famous or important though that is one of my ambitions. It's not easy. It's just not easy to become significant. I'm not saying famous but being as important to someone else.

Have you ever encountered a situation where you thought you are the "earth", the "sun", the "moon" to someone but in the end, that hope or self-assuming turns you down? You are not really what or who you think you are. You are just an insignificant dot to no one.

You are so insignificant that you turn yourself in. You gave in to a war that was never salient. You raised your white flag and there it was, the end of the game of proving yourself as someone great. Or, in this matter, someone who is recognized by others.

It has been a couple of times when I fall down hard that I make sure that I lift myself up again trying to prove that the situation is so little and I shall rise again. I shall be someone's significant other or even a tiny dot that will make him remember me by the end of the day before he goes to sleep. I know it's absurd. I know that it is merely a dream but I don't care. I want to feel complacent with what I have now and with how I feel about myself.

Yes, it is true that no girl can be perfect and no man in this matter can be perfect either. But who are we lying to? You are so imperfect that you make other individual's life so perfect. True? Due to your imperfection, you can actually complete others. I always believe that God creates humans differently with one talent to the other. He will never give you talent and perfections at the same time. He's adil after all. Fair and square. So you have the money but in that so rich and famous life of yours, He surely will take one thing away from you that will make you realize, no one is perfect in this world but Him.

So, I've made up my mind. I know apart of all those imperfections that I have, there will be at least 3 or more imperfections or talent that I possess different from the other girls I know.

My current status in that so-called social webpage is about "white flag". Yes, I'm raising one because I know and I realize, I can never be that person whom another will have passion for and will be caress and loved due to the imperfections that I have so, yes, I'll just raise my flag. I'll just sit back and wait for the other imperfections to come and complete me and making me the significant other.

This is how I feel. It's not about being defeated but this is what we call, a reality-check up!

With this two ugly, incompetent feet of mine, I know where I belong. So, yea, I'm standing on the other side of the world and just look at how perfect your world is from here. Have fun over there and don't mind me here. You don't have to pretend that you like me just to make sure that I won't be hurt because I'm not hurt at all. I may be imperfect but my heart is as strong as steel. It broke once but I've sent it for some repairs and now it is perfectly healthy and strong.

Don't worry about me. Go on and be with the one that you should be with. I just don't belong in that flock.


  1. waaaaaah newwww poooossstt~~~~

    honestly, who really deems someone perfect or imperfect. can really think of one being that fits that word, non other.

    so ya, lets live in the love of imperfections, which came forth from the myriad of massive permutations protracted through the engrossing evolution we were conceived chaotically in infinitesimal traversed time.

    on a personal note, while i don't really know what baiyah love in me, i get a distinct feeling that shes loving me for my imperfections and not just the so called perfection that i cant even see in myself. i for one love her imperfections, hell at times i feel those so called imperfections fo her, are what makes her perfect in my eyes in the first place.

    and my English is a giant bucket of newly processed bio fuels isn't it? and when i say bio fuel, i meant bovine shit...

  2. yep. when i'm reading it i really had to use a lot of contextual clues. hell i'm suck with that. ngahaha.

    hey, hope you and baiyah will always be together till that day of solemnization comes. don't lose her. caress her, appreciate her, be there for her, and yes, love her and never take her for granted.

    will always pray for you guys. always.

  3. without her id be dead, that sums it all up actually.

    I ling to her like living breath, i try to be there for her and appreciate as much as i can, not taking her for granted and yes i do so love her, very very VERY much. my greatest fear is loosing her, the greatest nightmare is seeing her hurt and in pain, if she must go before me, i only hope she goes when we are in our ripe old age, and when she goes to be in peace not in pain but in her sleep, i hope to fallow her soon after, god willing.

    Then again, if she dumps me, that would be one hell of a kick in the groin. god forbid that happens, but i love her so much i get so conflicted if id let her go or go completely insane at loosing her. i say completely because I'm already slightly unstable as is now. and slightly is putting it very very very lightly. =D

    and thanks for the prayers, we need all the prayers we can =)


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