As if I have no better things to be done

I hope to be a narcissist one day. I'm tired of being too democratic.

I asked a friend just now about his relationship with his woman and all he got to say was, " lets just say me and her is on hiatus right now".

How fucked up is that? Why can't he answer me, "I hate her." or "I want to move on with my life." ?

I know that deep down inside, he is heart-broken just like how I felt the other week. Weak.

If only that I could tell people to screw themselves and I love myself and ONLY myself. If only that life is as simple as that.

But no. Life is not simple. It has always been a shamble and I hate that.

But again, imagine life without those dances and tyranny. I would start complaining saying that my life sucks and by the time I reached the integrity vs despair stage, (Erik Erikson), I will eventually want to kill myself.

I hope to be a good citizen and at the same time I don't want to be one of those people who stands on the lowest bidding, I want to stand tall and as high as the president. I want to be someone famous and powerful.

Yes. That's more like it.

What's wrong with being powerful and not being bullied but at the same time still a good person at heart?

But the question is, when I am in control of everything, will that be enough? Will I treat people as equally as I treat others? Will I still be the same person as who I am today?

At times like these, a lot of questions and wonders are in my head. Despite of the fact that I am supposed to finish my more important writings, I chose to write this. Carpe diem right?


  1. Without Despair There Wont Be Hope.
    Its either we hope and stay alive, or despair and die. Then again a mixture of both in equal measure should suffice.

    Be passionate in your actions, be humble by your deeds. Always remember who you are and where you came from, that certainly will balance your mounting ambitions and your need to be just.

    PS: What need to be written now, should be written now, its quite OK to put things on hold. Carpe Diem Cras

    ~Misanthropic Stalker~


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