arrgghhh!!!

Have you ever felt to jump off a cliff and yell "FUCK!!"? Well, I feel like doing it right now. I don't know whether I'm mad or angry or frustrated with or disappointed or ashamed with my own stupidity but I just felt like arrgghh!! Oh God, help! At first I feel loved, I feel like giving my love and the second minute, I feel like screaming at the top of my lung! As simple as the matter of stupid photos, I can get a pain in the ass! "photos"!! wtf?!

Sometimes, Ii feel like a loser. I get easily jealous if I know that my man is lying his eyes on someone else which I think is creepy if it's done by my boyfriend onto me. I get easily sulking when he never appreciate my sacrifices to him and even worst, I quickly on "auto-pilot". I let my mind wanders off whenever that I feel like I don't want to talk to anyone or to think off it. It sucks because it makes people think they are worthless and at the same time, devastated to be ignored. I get this terrible attitude from my father. Whenever that I don't feel like talking to anyone who pisses me off, I switch on my "auto-pilot" and i regret of doing so. Darn stupid and pathetic! I know how it feels when being ignored since my father often "offended" me in such way. It is pretty demotivating and saddens people's heart!

I promised to behave and no more fighting over small matters like jealousy and trust because, these are the ultimate fundamental values that I should posses in order to maintain our long distance relationship. I somehow fail to do so, over and over again. Will I ever have any hope to survive the relationship? Will I have the courage to go on with this? Will I give up again like any of my previous relationships? Ohhhh God, help. Please don't.

I'm tired of being cheated, being fooled, being let go by a guy who confuses with my true intentions and sincerity. I wanted to tell him that I truly love him and wanted him to be patience with my temper but I can't. I kept on repeating the same old mistakes, again and again. I will never learn my lesson. ohh... will there any hope for me?

Ohhhhh Wahyu.....please, hang on. Be patience..please...I promise I won't cry anymore. I promise I won't sulk anymore.

Just stay put.
Be where you are right now.
Don't let me go yet.
You haven't really discover the best in me.
Please wait.
Just be patience.
I'm getting it.
Just a little moment now.
Please... miss you so much...

Ohhhh.............

Comments

  1. kamu jngan marah-marah la.huhu.sabau2.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ini bukan marah. ni geram. npk..dh tuka jdik ijau!

    ReplyDelete

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