One of those important reminders!

Hi anak.

Do you know. These past few years, I have changed a lot. From someone who doesn't know anything to...well, a bit of something.

It's a crazy world out there and when you are all grown up, things will never be the same like when you were a kid. It could be differently good and it could also turn out bad. It's based on your choice; which path that you want to pursue to.

This is just as a head's-up for you so you won't take any faulty step though I doubt that things are going to be as smooth for you different from everyone else but just try your best not to stumble down the hill okay my kid?

The reason I'm writing this entry is to let you know that sometimes, you will not going to get everything that you want or wish for. There will be times that you have to be hurt and be sad, not getting what you want. But that is not the end of the world. You won't die out of it. And yes, I hate to quote this, it will only make you stronger.

Anak, today I've learned again something that is too priceless. It's a deep, meaningful saying; and I quoted from Nabi Yusuf when he was imprisoned due to a fitnah saying that he tried to rape Zulaikha' "Wahai Tuhanku, penjara lebih aku sukai daripada memenuhi ajakan mereka kepadaku. Dan jika tidak Engkau hindarkan daripadaku tipu daya mereka, tentu aku ini akan cenderung untuk (memenuhi keinginan mereka) dan tentu lah aku termasuk orang yang bodoh." (Surah Yusuf: 33).

What the sentence in Quran meant is that, kalau duduk di dalam penjara itu adalah yang terbaik buatnya (Nabi Yusuf) dengan tidak mendatangkan kemudaratan keatas dirinya, keluarganya, agamanya dan orang disekelilingnya, maka dia (Yusuf) redha dengan ketentuan Illahi.

The same thing that me and you can apply to our lives today, if it is not meant to be for us, bear in mind that God will always have a better plan for us. It's just a matter of time. I was too blinded with sorrow, anger and sadness that I didn't see all of the hikmah behind the things that had happened to me.

And tonight, I've reminded myself again about this and I have determined that if I am not going to be married to anyone pun, I am pleased with His decision. Probably that if I were to marry or to have someone by my side, I'd do the darnedest thing that will humiliate myself, my family and my religion. Though I know, I've done too much damage to myself and others due to this matter.

I just want to remind you even if one day, I were to be sick of a disease and had to leave you sooner than we've planned, you are going to accept this Qada' and qadar.

Accept it with an opened mind and heart.

Enough with the late rambling. If today is your birthday, happy birthday my dear child. I love you.

Goodnight love.