Rambling thoughts 1
Aku ingat suatu masa dulu time kat sekolah, cikgu aku tanya, "What do you want to do in your life?" Ye lah maksud dia tu mungkin, other than finishing school and go to college, etc.
I couldn't answer her. I didn't know what I want to do with life; with MY life.
Bila mak pak aku tanya pun, aku takleh bagi jawapan. I didn't like anything at that time but being rebellious. Tapi dalam pada rebellious aku tu pun, family aku still cakap aku ni anak yang baik dan mendengar kata lagi. Well, kalau nak dicompare dengan adik aku or any of my other cousins, kenakalan aku ni masih lagi dikira mild dan tidak merbahaya langsung. Thank God for that.
Yes, at times, when I look back my childhood time, I feel sorry for my mom and dad and myself. But I have never regretted of my past actions. I feel bad but it worth for every second of experience I went through. Personally, aku rasa I won't be the person I am today if it wasn't for the past actions that I did.
These past few days aku terjumpa cikgu aku kat fesbuk. And she asked me if I have found the answer to the question.
Dan apa feeling aku sekarang?
Mestilah aku rasa down gila!
I want to do something that I enjoy doing. I want to do something that can make me happy all the time and not think about problems. Well make that no problem at all!
Masalahnya ada ke?
The last time that I dated someone (you know who), he said he was the obstacle for the freedom and success that I deserve. It's been almost a year now that we part ways but I'm still here doing what I'm good at but not really having any fun doing it.
Setiap hari pun mesti ada perasaan nak melarikan diri, nak take the next flight to a random, alienated country and explore myself in it.
Rasanya ada ramai tak lagi orang kat luar sana yang have the same feeling like mine?
Curious jugak nak tahu.